Blogging is like dating! Advice I learned from a relationship expert on Rachel Ray, taught me that dating and blogging are more similar than I had ever imagined.
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Blogging Is Like Dating

Blogging is Like Dating

Blogging is like dating! Advice I learned from a relationship expert on Rachel Ray, taught me that dating and blogging are more similar than I had ever imagined.

 

 

It has almost been two decades since I have been in the dating pool! I married my husband when I was 20, we’ve been married for 13 years!  –Look at you trying to figure out my age, good for you doing math today 🙂 –  When you’re 20, you truly haven’t been in the dating game much, and with that, the thought of dating in 2014 gives me anxiety!  I mean, when I met my husband, he didn’t have the ability to Google me from his smart phone, of course he couldn’t afford a cell phone, but I’m just saying, things have changed immensely since 2000.

A week or so ago, I was watching Rachel Ray, she had a “dating expert” on her show, I was feeling a bit anxious for some of the ladies asking dating questions to the dating expert.  I don’t know why, I’m not even thinking of dating. I felt for some of these ladies because again things were SO different from when I was dating.  The dating expert, Matthew Hussey, gave WONDERFUL advice, and then it hit me!  Dating… IS LIKE BLOGGING!!!

There was a lady, {let’s name her Kim} on the show who asked Matthew why the guys weren’t staying.  Matthew had Kim give him an example of her dating conversations, that’s where she had some errors.  Matthew gave her a few questions to answer, her answers were quite vague and short- not too good when you’re trying to “date” someone.

Here are the questions & comments Matthew made to help Kim keep the boys coming to the yard.  {Just for fun maybe try reading these in a cute British accent like Matthew’s ;)}

  • Favorite Movie & Why
  • Favorite Place & Why
  • Something New You Learned
  • Bucket List Item
  • Character Revealing Item
  • Be In Demand

But why is dating like blogging?

Matthew shared the BEST ADVICE!

  1. Be yourself
  2. Share yourself, show your personality!
  3. Don’t talk about your exes… or in our case other bloggers or blog relationships that went wrong
  4. Don’t be vague!
  5. Be in demand, show you’re sure of yourself.  He didn’t mean be stuck up, but be confident!

I’ll give you an example:

Favorite movie and why? Bridesmaids, because it’s funny. <– WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! For starters that’s boring, as well as who realizes your personality with such a brief explanation? When you’re blogging you are receiving a small window to keep the readers engaged, sale yourself or someone else will.  No, they won’t sell you, but they’ll sell their blog post with a nice shiny bow. Let’s be honest, in the blogging world you can post something today and somebody has already or will post a similar post, but how they blog it may make the difference. 😉

Can you imagine how boring that date would be?  Do you like movies? Yes. Okay, what’s your favorite movie? Forrest Gump.  Why? It’s good. <<<BORING!

Another example:

Where’s your favorite place and why?  Let’s say your favorite place in the whole wide world is Disney World, you wouldn’t say because it is fun.  Who wants to go to Disney World because you said it’s fun?  Instead, let’s try this. Top 10 Reasons I love Disney World, and since you aren’t really able to show your excitement, because sometimes your tone doesn’t transfer, use PICTURES. Pictures can assist when blogging, but not just pictures, your best pictures.  On your list however DO NOT say fun!  Tell your readers a story, make us a part of your memory, we want to connect with you!♡  And your date does too 🙂

Yes… there's a Starbucks at WDW! #Disney #Starbucks

 

SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!

When Matthew said, “Share something new you learned”  I loved this.  Did you learn a new recipe, tip, or life hack you think others would enjoy or could use?  For instance, Becca, from My Crazy Good Life , shares tons of AMAZING tips! Becca, shares blogging tips, iPhone tips, and even helpful life hacks.  One of her tips that rocked my world has to do with chicken tacos!  I’ve been making chicken tacos FOR.EVER, so when she shared this new hack she learned… MY MIND WAS BLOWN!  Now, whenever I make chicken tacos, I think of Becca. 😀 (I STILL DO YEARS LATER)

Who are you?

You don’t want people to come to your blog and NOT hear your voice.

 

In this case be Simone 🙂

When you’re dating, your date doesn’t want to hear about your exes!

When you’re blogging, bloggers don’t want to hear you throwing shade on your blog or theirs! DON’T DO IT!

NO SHADE!

Be in demand!

Matthew’s example:  “I like the way you approached me, other guys do it like this___” Do you see what he did?  He gave a compliment, but also let the guy know, you’re not the only one 🙂 Gangsta!

Here’s what you can do, be sure of yourself! Don’t get cocky, because>> Bye, Felicia! The blogging community is filled with support, but the minute you start getting too big for your britches… nobody wants to support that. #SorryNotSorry

When Matthew and I (because we’re best friends now) speak of confidence, we mean share your work and know when you did a good job, it’s okay to be proud.  Are you proud of a post? Yes? Awesome, share it with others!  Chances are they’ll share your awesome work too. 🙂  Link your good stuff within your posts, somebody may not have seen it.  Also, compliment others’ works you enjoyed.  Thank yous are always appreciated!

Now, that we’ve got this established, I still don’t want to date, but I want to blog SO hard 🙂

Do you believe blogging is like dating, a little?

XOXO

© 2014 – 2017, Dean @Mrs. AOK, A Work In Progress. All rights reserved.

66 thoughts on “Blogging Is Like Dating”

  1. I do think blogging is kind of like dating. You have to be yourself without coming on too strong or giving to much away all at once. You wonder if people like you and if they’ll come back to your blog for a “second date”. Great post!

    1. Exactly! I’m dating again, I put myself out there, hoping for a call back 🙂 I agree you want to share enough to get readers coming back.
      Thanks, Tia!
      XOXO

  2. Well we’re about the same age, but I got married a bit later. I still don’t remember dating at all.
    I do think blogging is like dating, though! It’s really interesting. It has to be a two way street and at first, you proceed slowly and then you reveal more and more of yourself as the connection deepens.
    Or doesn’t.
    It’s cool! And weird.

    1. 🙂 Well… it has been a pleasure dating you! I enjoy your intrigue & yet openness, it’s what keeps me coming back 🙂 Okay, there’s a lot more <3
      I believe I'm finally getting to the point of revealing more of me, the deeper stuff.
      XO

  3. I want to Blog hard too! I can definitely see where dating and blogging may be alike. Of course I haven’t dated in nearly the same amount of time as you but still..LOL I definitely agree that you need to go beyond simply answering a question but actually showing yourself in the answer. Great post Lovie!

    1. Thanks Tiffany!
      I’d like to think our relationship is solid 😉 We’ve been going steady for sometime now 🙂
      You have to give a bit of you to make a relationship work, and I most certainly think blogging is an example of that.
      XOXO

  4. Isn’t blogging like dating…within a marriage? I mean, the big objective with blogging is to find someone special (your readers, your blogging community) but to keep them from wandering off and to keep the relationship real it needs work, imagination and lots of energy? Lots of ‘date night’ style creative touches to let them know they’re still loved etc….

    1. Yes, I can see that. The only difference is in a married “dating” relationship the person already knows you. I think when you blog you have to consider not everyone ‘knows’ you. I want to show a bit of me, and hopefully build relationships, and strengthen them with all my readers.
      I also agree relationships need work, imagination, and lots of energy, I think you can find that in some dating relationships and some marriages. I most certainly hope you can find that here 🙂
      XOXO

  5. It’s funny how everything starts relating to blogging once you’ve been doing it for a while, isn’t it? These are great tips!! I especially like the last one. Supporting each other is HUGE. #SITSBlogging

    1. Oh my goodness, I’m sorry I missed your comment, please forgive me for my delayed response, pretty please!

      It is crazy how blogging starts relating to all sorts of things, or when you start questioning should I blog this… or better yet blogging enters your dreams!
      Support is the best policy in my opinion for a happy thriving blog.
      XOXO

  6. Ooh, I love this! I had never thought about it, but blogging is kinda like dating! Leaving comments is like when you first start seeing someone–you don’t want to message them too much at first and you want to see if you hear back from them, but then after awhile you’ve got a repertoire going and you’re “messaging” each other all the time! Great post 🙂

    1. Yes! Thank you, Bev. Oh my gosh you hit it on the nail with this one. Dare I say… sometimes… I get a little fluttery in my belly when I post and receive comments 😀 I’m about to “message” you back 😉 {I want us to last, too clingy?}
      XOXO

  7. Love this. I found you on the SITS Sharefest and that’s one place I like to go to get inspired with my blogging. I wasn’t sure what your post was all about but clicked over and am happy I did. The concrete examples are really great and I think will help others, including me with their writing because focus can be a difficult problem. Have a great weekend!

    1. Thanks, Patti! I love the SITS Sharefest, you’re right there is always such wonderful inspiration to pull from 🙂 I’m happy you think my post is helpful, I was a bit reluctant to post, because unlike Matthew… I’m not an expert.
      Focus can be tough, I think I have the opposite problem as “Kim” I’m a rambler, I can go off on my own tangent, and then realize, I’m waaaaaaaay off focus.

      I’m looking forward to #SITSBlogging this morning, hope to see you there!
      XOXO

  8. This is awesome and so insightful!

    Blogging is totally like blogging… especially when you’re first communicating with a new blogger… do they like me? Maybe they don’t. It’s been two days and they still haven’t left a comment (called)! LOL

    Awesome. I recently wrote a post about how dating is like something I’ve encountered in parenting. I’m publishing it next week and I’m super excited to see if anyone feels the same way as me… or if I’m some kind of anomaly.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.
    xoxo

    1. I cannot wait to read your post! I’m thankful I wasn’t the only one here, to see the similarity between blogging and dating… whew!
      I have had a great weekend, thank you. Wishing you a lovely week.
      XOXO

    1. 😀 That’s too funny! I swear it was a lightbulb moment for me! Thanks, again for sharing such a time-saving-taco-hack.
      Also, thank you for all the additional help you’ve given me on my blogging journey, you’re a sweetheart. You’re not just chicken tacos, you are SO much more.
      XOXO

  9. Good analogy. The difference for me being, the longest I’ve ever dated someone is 3 months, but I’ve been blogging for over 5 years, so thankfully I’m a more successful blogger than dater.

    On another note, My sister just recently came back from a Matthew Hussey week long seminar, it’s like Bloggy Bootcamp for finding yourself and your mate. She came back with a new lease on life!

    1. First off, I apologize for my delayed response. For some reason some of my comments are being placed in spam, I just found your comment today.

      I’m sure you’re good at both 😉
      5 years of blogging plus dating, so do you see any similarities?

      I bet the Matthew Hussey seminar had to be enlightening, he has some good tips, well at least from what I saw 🙂 I’m going to Bloggy Bootcamp, I hope I can come back with a new lease on blogging.
      XOXO

  10. I’ve never thought about it that way, but that’s a perfect analogy. Of course, in blogging you have to kiss a lot fewer FROGS! Thanks for visiting my site today via #SITSSharefest

    1. First off, I apologize for my delayed response. For some reason some of my comments are being placed in spam, I just found your comment today.

      Yes, less FROGS for sure! Thank goodness 🙂
      XOXO

  11. Totally agree, but for a few different reasons.

    I haven’t dated in – I won’t tell you how long. However, sometimes, you just need to take a break – you know? When you lose yourself in the mess. Sometimes you have to take a break, just to find your own voice.

    1. Yes, ma’am! I believe it’s wise in *any* life situation to take a timeout and refocus on your goals, your voice, and your purpose.
      I’ve been known to take my fair share of breaks 😉
      XOXO

  12. Just thinking about dating in this day and age gives me a headache. Thank God, I’m married already. But I agree that blogging and dating are similar. You definitely want to make the best impression that you can and reel in your audience in hopes of forming some sort of connection.

    1. Right!?! I couldn’t even imagine dating. I’m not sure if I would be any good at it 😀
      It’s funny, but my husband never ever text{ed} me to ask me out on a date! When we were dating, texting wasn’t really a thing. I had my big red Nokia block phone, he had to talk to me or leave a voicemail 🙂

      First impressions are huge, even when it comes to blogging. Hopefully, your content is exciting enough to bring back potential readers and keep regulars coming back. Also, I believe it’s imperative to be a good supporter. You are such a great example of being a supportive friend 🙂
      XOXO

  13. I was a wandering lost blogging soul for so long. It seemed like everyone who was successful was doing things I had absolutely no interest, but I thought I’d give it a try and I failed. HARD! More than likely, there will never craft tutorials on my blog or happy homemaker tips because that’s simply not me. I love girlie things and that’s what I want to talk about.

    Gawd, if I had to start dating again I’d either go for a hot 20 something who just wants to have fun and travel or try the Anna Nicole Smith route and marry an old billionaire. What a thought to end on. 🙂 xoxo

    1. 😀 LMBO! Oh my gosh I cannot wait for our margarita date, good times.

      I too at one time have been a lost wandering blogging soul, it was discouraging. I remember thinking I need to give up, but I also never reached out. Reaching out/connecting with other bloggers has been SO rewarding in many ways.
      You’ll still find a sprinkle of DIY here, but I don’t think that’s what people come to read here. I’m actually not 100% why, but I’m incredibly thankful for all the love I receive here. #Grateful
      I love girlie things too!
      XOXO

  14. Interesting comparison, and good point about having to have confidence in who one is. There is a strange aspect of selling-oneself in blogging, like a continual job interview.

    1. Thank you, Christy.
      That’s an interesting analogy as well, a continual job interview… I get it. Thankfully, you can blog in your jammies and use your true voice (which sometimes involves naughty words, well at least mine does).
      All the best~
      XO

    1. Thank you, Carrie. I’ve only met one of my blogger friends in real life, and I’ve chatted with a few in Google Hangout. I’m a little nervous to meet more bloggers at Bloggy Boot Camp… total butterflies! I’m sure it will feel like a first date 🙂
      XOXO

  15. I never thought about dating and blogging in the same way, but I agree with you they are alike.
    My husband and I started dating in 2000, but we didn’t get married until 2004. I think when we started dating there was just the right amount of technology in the dating world (email and instant messenger). Less technology made it easier to talk and actually have long conversations where you could get to know each other.

    1. I know it’s a crazy comparison, but when Matthew was talking it hit me… blogging is like dating. I like blog dating 😉

      Okay, you and I were in the dating pool around the same time. I remember instant messenger 🙂
      My husband and I would stay on the phone for hours, it was the best. I hope that still goes on in the dating world <3
      XOXO

  16. This is so true!! For myself it’s being myself that is the hardest part of blogging. I think I often focus too much on sharing useful tips and ideas and less on sharing my thoughts and experiences. That’s definitely a goal for me, and especially after reading this! Funny AND useful!

    1. Hello Olivia,
      I want to apologize for my delayed response, for some reason a few of my comments are going to spam– boo! Thankfully, I found your comment 🙂

      I’m sure you’re sharing a bit of yourself in your blog. You’re blogging about what you are passionate about, and that’s awesome. Giving tips on how to succeed, especially with weightless, just displays that you’re a giver. Some people make you buy tips and you’re sharing openly, which is helping many, I’m sure. A matter of fact I need to start following you quite closely 🙂 I could use many of your tips.

      And, thank you!
      XOXO

  17. Looooove this!!! Yes, you made such a good point, it’s DEFINITELY like dating!! And for all the reasons you mentioned above. Don’t be boring, be descriptive, be confident, don’t trash talk, etc. I also love how you watched a dating show and totally turned it around to be relevant for blogging, haha! A true blogger!

    I could not imagine dating these days with the smart phones and all of the social media sites. How does anything remain mysterious anymore?

    1. Thanks, Jessica 🙂 When I was explaining this epiphany to my husband, I stopped mid sentence and asked him, “Guess, this makes me a blogger, huh?” 😀
      Maybe, it’s because I haven’t dated in YEARS that hearing an expert explain dating, made the comparison real for me 🙂

      The mysteriousness… that reminds me of HIMYM episode Mystery vs. History…. I didn’t just remember that off the top of my head, I googled, so I’m not that super fanatical 🙂 The premise: technology had taken out the mystery in life as we see people on their cell/smartphones looking up people’s profiles. Ted tries NOT to look into his date’s online presence. WOW.. okay, maybe I’m a little just a smidge fanatical.
      XOXO

  18. Oh my gosh… LOVED this post!! Stopping by from the bloggers digest! Blogging is totally like dating, and I’ve found it to be so much more lately since I’ve been trying to connect a lot more with my readers! You did a brilliant job comparing it! 🙂

  19. I love this comparison. haha Blogging is like trying to date a bunch of people at once. My husband and I have been together about 5 years, but I still feel anxious thinking about having to date. It is so different from even just 5 years old.

    1. Ha Ha polygamist dating 🙂 I will gladly take blog-dating over jumping back into the dating waters. Thankfully, I found my soulmate ♡ Happy you did too 🙂
      XOXO

  20. Totally agree with you! And I love your sense of humor. Right now, I’m not sure what I’m looking for in where I want my blog (I knew more of what I wanted when I met my husband), but that’s the fun and frustration of the search.

    1. Thank you, and I’m glad you agree 😉 It took me some time to figure out what I wanted from my blog, and I’m still switching things up.
      Thanks for stopping in.
      XOXO

  21. I don’t know whether I believe blogging is like dating or not. But, I do agree with your points. Write about the things you know, but always be on the look out for tips to improve your writing skills.

    1. I’m glad you agree with my points, Ila. I almost didn’t post this post, because I wasn’t sure if I “knew” enough about blogging to share, I’m glad I vetoed myself 🙂

      I’m always on the hunt for tips! I have Pinterest boards devoted to blogging and writing.
      XOXO

  22. Love this post! With dating and blogging, It’s hard sometimes to put yourself out there. There’s that fear of rejection thing. What if they don’t like me? But being yourself and writing in your own voice is always the best way to go.

    1. Yes, oh the fear! It gets a little unnerving hovering my arrow over publish, I’m always second guessing myself. I don’t want to be rejected, I mean who does, right?
      I hope a piece of me comes through with each post, I surely do try 🙂
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
      XOXO

  23. Love this. Blogging is a little like dating. We put on our best side (at least most of the time). We try to share and learn about the other blogger. We secretly spy on one another (blog crush). A great analogy. Just don’t tell my hubby I’m dating! 🙂

    1. Thanks, Holly. I know it’s a crazy connection, but it made sense to me and thankful many others. I’m glad I wasn’t alone in my train of thought {whew}.

      I wish I could tell you the best time but I’m a hot mess when it comes to consistent time of posting. I’ve heard morning time is the best working off of east coast time because those getting up check their blogs or feeds.
      Lunch time has actually been a good time to push a post, because people tend to get on their computers around that time 😉
      I *try* to post at least 3 times a week, but if I have nothing to say (less). Honestly, I always have something to say, it’s just writing it out without sounding like what the what… you know?
      I’ve been known just to write a steady stream of tweets, or sometimes IG becomes my mini blog.
      Buffer is your friend 🙂 Post whenever just make sure you have tweets set up to go out, that way you do not miss people in different time zones.
      XOXO

  24. This is so amazingly true. It’s just a simple “formula” and in the end, it comes back to relationship/community building and how involved you want to be with that p./c. And if you want that p./c. to hang around for the long haul. Great post, mama! LOVE!

    1. Why thank you, Ann!! I’m in it for the long haul, I want to build those around me along with myself; in any relationship give and receive… right?
      Share, share, share, share what you love.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts
      XOXO

    1. I’ve forgotten how to, too. I can’t imagine dating with technology being so heavy in our lives. Boy did i just make myself sound like a fuddy duddy. 😀
      Thanks for stopping by.
      XOXO

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