Motherhood, Random

If Tomorrow Never Comes

If Tomorrow Never Comes

I’m just going to apologize now, I’m writing this through tears, and with plenty emotion…  if it doesn’t make sense to you, it’s making sense to me.

This morning I woke up SO thankful.  Incredibly thankful just to wake up.  I {do} wake up thankful everyday, but today was different…. today, it was more.  I woke up clinching my heart, thankful.  It has been a while since I have done that, the days of anxious morning thankfuls have passed (thankfully), the days when I thought, “WHAT IF” too much.  However, this morning as I woke up thankful with heart clinched and kisses showered, I thought of the mother who will not kiss her child anymore.  The mother who has a 2nd grader and kissed him goodnight… she didn’t wake up in the morning. That would be their last kiss, she won’t be around to see him grow, no trick-or-treat, soccer games, school plays, or graduation.  He lost his MOMMY. That sweet young boy, lost his Mama way too soon.

Last night, I thought of her family, as well as what I could do to help, and then I thought, “WHAT CAN YOU DO!?!  There is probably nothing I can do, at least not now…. because this was just awfully sudden, and unfair.  And while I’m typing this up, my husband has informed me that one of his old co-workers passed away from cancer last night.  We just found out about her cancer about three weeks ago!  Not that death should be a reminder to live, but dammit, I’ve heard it loud and clear.
I’m thankful for these moments these fleeting moments, I have my chance to make my mark on this world, and do so with kindness in both of these ladies’ honor: I will be thankful for today, tomorrow, and everyday I have.

I will keep them close to my heart, I will.  We aren’t promised tomorrow, I’m going to love HARD today.

If tomorrow never comes…. I’m thankful for today, I’m thankful for my life, my family (❤), the love I’ve been given here on Earth, the many laughs I’ve laughed (there must have been many I have lines on my face from smiling), group family texts (even if they get too preachy for me), for hugs, kisses, late nights with my husband, and the longest sleepover EVER with my best friend (I LOVE HIM).  I’m thankful for the milestones I’ve been so blessed to see from each one of my children (I LOVE THEM), for starting my journey to face my fears, battling my anxiety, loving hard even when it was not returned, teaching the babies to be kind (I sure hope they will keep that up), making friends even if they are stuck in my computer and miles away, letting friends dress me up like Sandra Dean, being the MOH at my little-sister-from-another-mother-and-father’s wedding, for secrets told to only me.  I’m also thankful for learning, teaching, letting go and moving on (it’s been nice to reconnect again D), music, books, and hamburgers.  I’m thankful I’ve had the opportunity to cheer on the babies whether it be sports or education, I’m their biggest cheerleader always, their loud-mouth-Texas Mommy.  I’m thankful for learning that being drunk isn’t cool, it’s gross and nothing I EVER want to do again… EVER.

I’m thankful that I can keep adding to this list, but in the event I don’t, all you have to go away with is I love… LOVE, LOVE,  LOVE, my life, and I’m thankful for each second, even the bad ones, that taught me something.

 If Tomorrow Never Comes: Garth Brooks

 

© 2014, Dean @Mrs. AOK, A Work In Progress. All rights reserved.

41 thoughts on “If Tomorrow Never Comes”

  1. Oh, big hugs!! I had one of these moments yesterday, and a little bit this morning. It is so important for us to take a moment periodically and remember all the things we should be thankful for. Thank you for this reminder, though I’m so so sorry about the circumstances surrounding it.

    1. Thanks, Bev. It’s just crazy unfair, my heart just aches for these ladies’ families. I just keep thinking of that sweet little boy, it just hurts to think about his pain and sadness.
      I really want to live and love so hard, I do. I don’t want this life to pass with regrets. I was wondering if I did that yesterday, did I live or love hard…. but I cannot live questioning myself either. We’ve got one shot… I cannot play the “what if” game or “should I have” game.
      XOXO

    1. Terribly horrible, I’m just heartbroken for her family.
      If Tomorrow Never Comes, by Garth Brooks, that’s the video I have embedded in this post, it’s the lyrics with the song.
      Wishing you a beautiful week.
      XOXO

    1. It’s hard, it just doesn’t seem right or fair, she had so much more life to live and see her son live.
      My list is just a glimpse of my thankfuls, I have much more to be thankful for. I’m seriously thankful for your kind words, and everyone who has come here to show me some love.
      Yesterday, I was trying not to let get things keep me down, but it was kind of hard.
      It was the best, and I know this will sound crazy, but it was honestly nice to just go to Trader Joe’s with my family.
      I loved going over multiplication facts with my youngest daughter last night over and over and over….
      Wishing you a beautiful weekend!
      XOXO

  2. Such horrible news. It’s so sad when someone is taken way before their time. I think about that almost everyday when I hug my daughter or peek in on her sleeping. You never know what is going to happen in life and you’re right, a thankful attitude is necessary. I know I can get caught up in whatever is going on and not appreciate what I have. Wishing you strength to get through the day!

    1. Thank you, Karen! I truly appreciate your kindness and friendship 🙂
      You know, watching “Resurrection” last season made me really think about life, and the first few weeks of watching it I kept checking in on the babies. I check in on them every night and kiss them up 🙂 just thankful they are mine, and that I am able to see them grow.
      I’m always thankful when I see them all sweet tucked in their beds, and then I go over my day wishing that perhaps I let them know how much they mean to me, and maybe take back some of my nagging. (I need to stop second guessing myself)
      I try SO HARD to keep a thankful heart, but as humans it’s easy to caught up in other things, it is.
      XOXOXO

  3. Oh my goodness, now you’re making me cry! This is every mom’s worst nightmare, isn’t it? What can you do? The unfair part of this is that men never seem to have these worries. I so wish I could trade places with my husband sometimes!

    What can we do? I hope writing this, in some way, released some of that tension for you. I can’t imagine what that mom is going through… yuck!

    Thanks for sharing.

    Brittany

    1. Brittany,
      I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make anyone cry, I think I’ve done it enough for everyone here. I’ve been crying through my comments this morning, I hope I’m making sense here.
      I revised my post a bit, because I guess in my hastiness my post was unclear, the mother is the one who passed away.
      I’m just terribly heartbroken for her family, especially for her little boy who no longer has his mother in his life.
      I’ve told my husband in the past, I wish I could be a little more worry-free like him.
      Writing was a release, I typed and covered my desk in tears, and thankfully yesterday my husband worked from home, so I had him to pick me up.
      All the best~
      XOXO

  4. This is so hard. Not to sound morbid but I think a lot about my mortality and that’s why I try to be so intentional about the things I do with my son. I want to soak up every moment we have because you just never know. ((hugs))

    1. You don’t sound morbid at all, you sound like a Mama 🙂 I think as mother’s most of us realize we aren’t here forever, and we WANT to make every teeny tiny second count, some say smothering, I say LOVING HARD. You, my dear sweet friend, you’re a lover… and I know you LOVE HARD EVERYDAY!
      XOXO

  5. Oh, sobs! So sorry about the people you know. And the people we all know.
    Last night Scarlet was asking me scary questions about what if she couldn’t wake up. I just assured her over and over that she would, but this world is a scary place.
    xoxo

    1. Oh dear, when the babies ask questions like that my heart breaks, I don’t want them to ever worry. BIG HUGS to you for handling that, I’m sure you did so gracefully <3
      XOXO

  6. This was such a sweet sweet post to read. I get it! I feel like this a lot these days especially since I realize that my guys is all I have really…and blog friends. You all have been such a great support to me. Cry it out mama. Loved reading a post like this from you!

    1. Thanks, Brittnei. ::Kisses:: I’m thankful for your support and friendship <3

      We just have to love hard... every day.
      All the best~
      XOXO

  7. I get that kind of feeling too from time to time. And I even contemplated to write this kind of post long before with the same title but I couldn’t get enough courage to think of what may happen JUST IN CASE so I couldn’t bring myself to write about it. But you’re right, we need to face our fears and live and love harder each day and also be thankful for what we have and what we don’t have.

    1. Oh Rea, you’re a girl after my own heart. I’m always fearful if I write it out or say it out loud it may happen. I remember a friend telling me, her friend said she felt like she was going to die young, and two months later, she died 🙁
      That put a fear in me, we were in our 20’s and I had a baby, I didn’t want to speak about death….ever.
      So, now that I’m in my 30’s, death has become more prevalent, which makes me question my own immortality, and I thought what if nobody ever knows.
      I plan to add to my list and let the world know, as well as the people closest to me, I love them, and I’m thankful.
      If you write that post, I would love to read it, and I’m sure it will feel freeing.
      XOXO

  8. Like you, i have these days from time to time too. I think they are good for our souls as much as they hurt. We need reminders of how precious time is & to love on those around us. May God bring you His peace & comfort. And may you enjoy your weekend with your family. Glad to have stopped here from the SITS this morning!

    1. Thank you, Joanne. I’ve have been reminded, and I’m thankful for this day.
      I plan to make this weekend memorable with my family.
      Wishing you a beautiful weekend with your family too!
      XOXO

  9. I’m constantly reminding myself that we are on borrowed time. I’ve loss enough people in my life to know that we truly have to make every moment count and be grateful to have had them because you just never know when your time to depart this world is going to come. This is always why I’m so diligent about doing my Thankful Thursday posts. Whether I am in the mist of a storm or celebration, I am forever grateful just to have breath in my lungs and people who truly love me.

    1. That’s the best way to live! I love your thankful posts, I’m going to start a monthly thankful post myself. I was supposed to already start that….
      We all have plenty to be thankful for, realizing that is rewarding. I’m humbled… I am here.
      XOXO

  10. I don’t cry easily but I was IN TEARS reading this post. It was beautiful. I have had one of those mornings and it makes me hug my kiddos a little tighter and tell my husband I love him a few more times then usual:)

    1. I’m sorry.
      I consider myself rather aware of life, but then something like this happens, and I’m reminded I’m not always present where I stand. Am I truly grateful, although I say I’m thankful, I need to feel it, and boy do I feel it.
      Kiss up those babies and love your honey <3
      All the best, always~
      xoxo

  11. That song always gets me. It’s wrong to lose someone way too soon–and that’s why it’s important to live intentionally. We can’t waste our days, we don’t know how many we have!

    1. This song and “The Dance” by Garth Brooks, both get me. I think we should all truly *hear* the words, and *live* the words, let those around us know how much we love them. These days are not meant for wasting, rather they are for loving and sharing.
      XOXO

  12. I hate thinking about stuff like this…I feel such anxiety when I think about losing a loved one, or my baby having to feel sad because he lost me or his dad. I still don’t really know how to deal with those emotions. But I like what you’re doing…loving hard and being grateful. I’ll do it, too. Thank you for this reminder 🙂 🙂 You are leaving your beautiful mark on the world through your family and your blog.

    1. Thanks, Galaxia. Your comments are always such a sweet reminder that there are people that although I’ve never met, they are there… present, loving, and caring. Thank you! You’re leaving you mark just the same, my friend!
      XOXO

  13. Yes, love hard. I battle with anxiety all the stinking time. And I always have giant mommy guilt when I get upset at my kids and then later find/hear about a family dealing with an unfortunate event. I guess all we can really do is focus on the now and make the most of each moment that we can. Thank you for being a beautiful, caring soul. xoxo

    1. Chastity… you’re one of the SWEETEST EVER!! I seriously ❤ you!!!
      Anxiety seems to be one of those things that is issued once one becomes a mother, topped with a huge helping of Mommy-guilt. I think due to our anxiety and Mommy guilt, we are a bit more conscious of life, and where it can go if we don’t pay attention. It’s always best to stand still and focus on our today 🙂 Sure we can plan for the future, but *today* is SO important.
      All the best~
      XOXOX

  14. CRYING. Man, I loved this post because it reminded me of all the things I’m grateful and thankful for. So many of the little things, even the things I think are annoying…I know I’d miss them if I didn’t have them. Thank you for this post <3

    1. Sorry I made you cry. This was a terribly hard post to write, I seriously flooded my keyboard with tears. My husband kept asking me if I was okay, and I kept waving him off, I just said I’m writing. Although, this was tough to write, I’m glad it has made the majority of visitors realize how precious life is, and that is important.
      All the best~
      XOXO

  15. We discover how much we love, laugh, and hope during those darkest hours when all things precious seem to be clouded with the loss we never expected. Tomorrow may never come and it is up to each of us to impact today with our best efforts, just in case we are the one who is missed tomorrow. You have written a beauiful tribute to all who are lost, to those who are struggling to regain a foothold in a world that has left them behind. For all of us, I thank you!

    1. Thank you, Peggy! I think it’s important to love hard each day, and be mindful that we are not promised tomorrow, but we can make sure we share our love today.
      Thank you for your kind words, and visit.
      Wishing you a beautiful weekend.
      XOXO

  16. Heartbreaking situation…and a powerful post. It really hit home. Our neighbor is battling cancer and I watched an ambulance take him to the hospital yesterday, no word yet on his condition. It puts everything else into perspective.

  17. We must live today like there is no tomorrow. Your words resonated with me. My heart goes out to you and to the children who no longer have their mothers. Although my mother and I bicker a lot I love her with all my heart and wouldn’t know what to do without her. Thank you for reminding us to appreciate everything that God has given us. Take care my friend. God bless.

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